Whatever it is that is coming up for you, there is a reason for it. It really is that simple. Perhaps figuring out what that reason is, could be the challenging part.
This week I have felt anxious. A familiar feeling for me, that was at one time in my life, extremely intense and debilitating on some days.
There were things I wanted to do; for work and play. But nothing was accomplished.
I was reminded very loudly that I needed to rest, when my body decided that it was going to force me to take a break. It wasn’t that I had been pushing myself physically, it was because I had been pushing myself mentally, and often times I overthink and don’t know when to slow down.
Various aches and pains have riddled me over the last while, and I feel like my body is betraying me. But then, I must ask myself the hard question, how am I betraying my body.
Do I nourish her? Do I exercise her? Do I respect her?
Then I ask, why did I create this? Why did I call this in?
I’m certain it is part protection, part lack of self worth, and part rejection of my divine feminine prowess.
So, for the last nearly 48 hours, I allowed myself to act in the moment. Feel in the moment. Watch. Breathe. Curse. Walk. Cry. Feel pain. Identify it. Drink tea. Eat cookies. Eat salad. Binge watch various shows. Shower. Scrub my floors because I was in charge dammit. Oh, the denial is so undeniably beautiful.
Through all of this. This sitting with myself, this trying to stop thinking thing, this, quiet. I learned that allowing, creates the awareness that is needed to decide on the next move to make, or not make.
Allowing, gives space for layers to simmer, then bubble to the surface and display what needs to be seen.
Allowing, helps me heal. ??
