Something I stand against is the light, fluffy approach that I often see taken during holistic healing work, coaching, energy medicine and the like.
What I mean by this is the idea that love, light and butterflies is “the way”, and the only way.
You know, the let’s “wave of the magic wand, let’s fix all the things” with these pretty crystals, cards and sage approach.
All of which was probably over priced, not sustainably sourced, and been bastardized in some way. But I digress.
I feel this approach puts people on an artificial high, or in the world of addiction recovery, what we call the Pink Cloud syndrome.
The pink cloud is the early stage of recovery when we feel excited or happy to be free of our drug of choice, and in many cases have an excessively positive outlook that can even come across as cocky or overconfident due to the abstaining.
Unfortunately more often than not this leads to relapse. Which starts the cycle of recovery, the shame spiral and self loathing all over again.
The light and fluffy approach, or the pink cloud I refer to here is not grounded in reality.
It is not a true look at the self.
But, good news for inauthentic healers, coaches and such, as this approach keeps people coming back! When the person crashes from their high, they need another fix, which benefits them and leads to a good amount of profitability but not much else.
Ask me how many thousands of dollars I spent learning this lesson.
I think there is a time and place for lightness which often comes out in my humour. But, it’s because I know laughter for me is an incredible medicine, and I’m not ignoring or avoiding my pain, but I’m allowing myself to explore it from all angles.
There is always time for love, but love doesn’t mean sticking one’s head in the sand and ignoring the external environment that’s been birthed due to inner dialogue.
Love is unconditional.
Love is accepting.
Love sees and knows all.
The light, the dark, and everything in between.
In the work I do as an Intuitive Mentor and Healer, I’m very much aware of the darkness.
I struggled with anxiety, depression and addiction for years.
The truth is, I still have a problem with sugar, which causes my anxiety to flare up, which then activates my depression into high gear or shall I say low gear.
When I don’t take care of myself. Or if I get out of certain mindset routines that help me stay focused, I become a hot mess. Ask my very patient husband about this sometime.
The first thing I “don’t” do, is write out a bunch of positive affirmations I don’t believe in. Rather, I work on focusing on gratitude. In that very moment what am I actually grateful for? Running water? Shelter? Food? The pen I’m using? All yes.
No amount of “positive” thinking or “fake it til you make it” has ever helped me. Instead, I turn to deep positivity, which is the knowing that deep down I have faith that everything will work out, even on my darkest days.
In that moment, am I grateful for a sugar crash? Anxiety? Or depression? Oh sweet mother of all that’s holy you know darn well I am NOT feeling gratitude in that moment, so I don’t fake it.
However a day or so later, when things have balanced out, I will sit in peace with it. I realize what it showed me and absolutely feel true gratitude.
I am able to honour and hold the sacredness of the darkness or the mud as I have affectionately have called it for years, and allow it to show me, teach me, and help me heal.
I allow myself to feel my feelings, see what I need to see, and know that through it, and on the other side of it, is always a rebirth or a blossoming of some kind.
It should be no surprise that the phrase and book, “No Mud, No Lotus” by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist Monk, is one of my absolute favourites.
How will you rock your mud today? In a true and honest way?