I haven’t always believed in the power of manifesting. I had seen the Law of Attraction several years ago during a group course I was attending to help work through my co-dependency issues. It was something I was deeply immersed in and identified with at the time. Back then I couldn’t be in a healthy relationship with a fruit fly let alone another human. I knew something needed to be sorted through and this was just one of the many things on my healing journey I took part in. It was the last day of the group and to end things, we watched the Law of Attraction.
It was brilliant. It was empowering, and it also sounded like a bunch of shit. I’m not kidding. I thought okay sure, I’ll go home and imagine I’m sitting in a sports car, and manifest that baby right into my life! Did I mention this was also in my deeply rooted skeptical phase of life?
As the years went on, my sharp edges softened. I was, and still am, a force to be reckoned with, but I was finally open to the idea that perhaps my way of doing things wasn’t working. My goodness, what was happening, I was becoming a different person. How could I change my beliefs? People don’t change! I could hear certain voices in my head of people who definitely were not pro-change or particularly supportive of my life. Of course when I watched this movie it was only a year or so after I had decided I was either going to change my life or die. So I guess you could say I was freshly descaled like a well used teapot, and ready to test out new waters. I was finally realigning with my truth that I had obviously forgotten some decades and past lives before.
Over the next handful of years through repeated attempts I would start and stop my practice of a gratitude journal. I’d say it was about 2011 and I’d write things I was grateful for that were already in my life, but also things that weren’t yet in my life. This is one of the ideas with the Law of Attraction, you feel and get into the vibe energetically as if the thing was already in your life. I’d write things like, I’m so grateful now that I am financially abundant. I’m so grateful now that I have a safe reliable vehicle. I’m so grateful now that I have good positive friends in my life. I’m so grateful to have a roof over my head. The list goes on.
I’d have to dig out my journals and really see when the shift took place, but I want to say in mid-late 2015 and early 2016, I started really embracing this new way of believing. Yes I know, five years after my original viewing of the movie, it’s not easy to give up your identity of being a skeptic! Some days I still weep about this. I was surrendering fully to the possibilities and this concept of manifesting. The proof was likely all around me for those five years, but I wasn’t seeing it or acknowledging it.
Act as if it’s already there. These words rang in my head on more than one occasion. So, I started to act like I was in a relationship. Don’t ask me why or how I picked that of all the things I could have picked, but that’s what I went with. So I’d imagine making dinner for two. I’d sing songs in the car, the way you do when you first fall in love with someone, or when you look at them on your first road trip and your heart skips a beat. I’d imagine coming home and seeing him sitting on the couch waiting for me and silently smiling. I’d let myself feel love when I thought of being called throughout the day just to say hello. Right down to the everyday mundane things like laundry and making the bed, I’d imagine he was there with me. I would feel in my heart that cozy feeling of being asked if I was coming to bed. I did this, over and over and over again. I’d say for a good solid six months. I always carried the love vibe with me. I carried that joy, that carefree, easy breezy energy when we have a romantic partner in our lives that shows up and changes everything forever.
Then, it happened, exactly ten months ago today, I asked myself if I was ready. I said yes, and within 24 hours, there he was.
As I sit and write this, I’m choked up for words. Trust me, there are very long pauses between these sentences, and it’s a good thing this is being delivered in written form. I’m not very pretty when I’m a blubbering mess. My dear sweet soul, arrived, we were both ready. What I didn’t know at the time, was that he too was praying for the right woman and the right relationship. What I also didn’t know, was that I would write the story about manifesting him. I do remember telling a few very close friends that I had manifested my guy. I too thought it was funny. Until it wasn’t funny, but quickly became a game-changer. It became the most beautiful creation in my life to date. He has let me be me. He has supported me. He has never laughed at my beliefs, my strength, my courage. He has empowered me, he has spoken words to me that have awakened my soul and I’m not sure he even realizes just how much.
I think of how I used to feel before he arrived, and my journey of manifestation during that time of desiring a relationship, and I realize something. The Universe, the Creator, the Law of Attraction, whatever words you want to use, did more than meet me half way. I put in deep effort, and I was given more than I ever could have dreamed of. What I know without a doubt in my mind, is that two very strong forces worked simultaneously yet separate for so long, with the support of a power so great, in so many ways, on so many levels during the years, that as soon as I said yes, it became one very strong force, now known as Us.
