I am a brilliant and beautiful moody storm cloud. I turn on a dime. I swing from one to the next. Clinically diagnosed with anything? Nope. Good Ol’ DSM hasn’t got a title for me yet. But I’m sure they are working on it for version X.
This week I acted differently, this morning at around 1, 2, 3 and 4 AM I knew I was not balanced in mind, body, or spirit.
At 4:45 I decided to choose differently after a week, of choosing differently.
A quick review;
Work was mentally taxing.
Body is sore.
Slept awful, for the first time in 2 weeks since I finally got my sleeping on track after about 2 months.
I had a nightmare about my mother abusing prescriptions, after 20 years of not, and continuing to lie to my face, stirring up all those feelings from my younger self. The kind where you wake up and have to remind yourself;
You’re safe.
I had a nightmare that a sweet kitty was hurt and I couldn’t get to him to help him.
I’ve seen things that upset me.
I’ve heard words that hurt me.
Yet, I chose to remain a bit lighter and more positive this week. Said kind things to people. Smiled. Didn’t spiral down just because I was in a mood. Enjoyed laughing with people this week over silly things. Lightened up and took a breath.
Trust me, I was in many moods. I’m known to be a moody person, but this week, I chose differently. Because it’s no one else’s problem if I’m in a mood, it isn’t even my problem, unless I want it to be.
Don’t lay your mood at someone’s feet, it’s not a gift anyone wants.