I’m tickled to see how many people are sharing the misconceptions about ushering out the old and bringing in the new with resolutions.
I’m equally thrilled with how many people are like ‘whatever, it’s just another day’. I’m falling somewhere on the spectrum of all of the above. So here’s my take.
Changes, healing, and transformation will transpire when you show up day after day committed to whatever it is you most desire.
We would be well-served if we viewed these changes or desires we have as personal priorities. Knowing that consistency and self-commitment even in the smallest ways with regularity will be what makes the difference.
In other words, we need to show up for ourselves.
With your list, with your word of the year, with your vision board, with whatever ‘tools’ that will help you get into, and stay in action.
I’m not against the experience of making a vision board or sitting in reflection with a list of goals or picking a word. I believe it is a great way to get started and into a creative space as allowing ourselves to play is when we drop the armour and come into alignment with our true selves.
The missing puzzle piece that I notice as being often left out, is the action part.
This is also where the law of attraction and manifesting are misunderstood. People thinking that there is a Genie with a Magic Wand. Which has been a pet peeve of mine circa forever. If the person teaching you about these things doesn’t talk about why you want what you want, the feeling aspect, and taking action, then you probably won’t get very far with your vision board or list of dreams.
So here’s the deal. Are you ready for the surprise?
YOU are the magic genie and the ‘wand’ is any action you show up and take to make your day, your week, your morning, your life, the way you want it to be.
I know, it’s a big job to design a life you love, which is why ‘resolutions’ end sometime around 10 AM on January 3rd.
It’s been so long since I’ve had a list of resolutions that I don’t when I stopped making them. Instead, I invite people to consider this practice below as often as they wish to do it. I typically encourage it to be part of a monthly reflection which I find far more helpful and reasonable.
You could consider doing it at the start of the month, or in the days leading up to the New Moon. Or every third Monday if that feels better to you.
Remember, the best practice? Is the one you’ll do.
…do you want? fairly easy, this is like your shopping list.
…do you want it? the ‘why’ is what will keep you motivated and focused on what it is you’re trying to ‘get’ the thing you want. If you don’t know ‘why’ you want to make more money, lose weight, buy a car, move into a house, quit your life, run away and change your name, then the ‘shopping list’ won’t work.
It is like going for groceries. You put a list together, but if you don’t know why you’re buying certain greens, and you proceed to shove them into the back of the fridge, nothing is going to happen other than them being forgotten.
What will you do, to make these things happen? Do you have time in your day to work on whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish? What is realistic? Maybe you truly only have Saturday afternoons. Whatever it is, you have to make time for it.
What barriers do you need to sort through to make sure they don’t get in the way? Think, doing your Gratitude practice first thing in the morning, so you put your journal and pen beside your bed where you might normally leave your phone. So you’re not tempted to grab the phone first.
✨ Finishing touches.
Are there any tools, skills, or anything else needed to make what you ‘want’ happen? Think, getting up at a certain time, you may want to buy an alarm clock instead of using your phone. A new notebook and working pen? (You don’t, but we’ll pretend for the sake of this post.)
Does this feel a little better? Perhaps a bit more true to you and realistic?
Now, a few closing thoughts for bonus points.
For anyone who teaches the, ‘you don’t want it bad enough’ story if you leave it for the end of the day, I call b.s. The reason you might not have time for it at the end of the day is that you are suffering from decision fatigue, and you don’t have the energetic space or capacity to take action. It has nothing to do with time, or wanting it bad enough. Have you ever stared into a fridge at the end of the day and not known what to make for dinner? See, if you’d researched what to do with those greens you bought you’d already know what to do with them. ?
This is why one of my core teachings is that you have to be part of the ‘me first’ club. In that whatever is most important to you, gets done first.
Now, here’s the other piece. People get all gung-ho, and say they are going to start getting up at 5 AM, (when they’ve not once ever in their life been awake at that hour), and go do ‘the thing’ for at least an hour before they start their day.
Scale it back.
How about starting with getting up 15 minutes earlier than normal, then in a couple of weeks 30 minutes, and so on.
Then, spend time on ‘your thing’ that you’re prioritizing for 5 minutes. Eventually, you’ll work up to the hour, but I’m pretty sure most of us figure out how to crawl, walk, then run generally in that order. This is no different.
If you go from zero to a million miles an hour, you’ll find yourself stopped, before you even start. We don’t want that anymore.
So to recap.
What do you want?
Why do you want it?
What tiny steps will you take, and when, to make magic?
What barriers do you need to eliminate?
Are there any tools or skills you need to make what you want to happen?
Happy creating and designing a life you love, however that looks for you.