I was rejecting the mud. Yup, Queen Muddie right here, in the flesh, was rejecting the mud yesterday. I was not in a good place. Everything that could come up yesterday, came up. I cried about it, I posted about it, I talked about it.
I was a muddy train wreck.
Then, a sweet human angel (who is probably tired of me thanking her everywhere she has posted her beautiful video) came along and reminded me of EFT, she even did a video for me right there on the spot. As a sat at my desk at my day job, I tapped away following along, I hoped to all of Creation that no one walked by.
My lesson was to remember that it is perfectly okay to feel not-okay. It is okay to speak your truth. It is okay to have a bad day.
This Mud Queen, right here, definitely knows about the power of positive thinking, inspired action and manifesting, but I also know, that we have to honour and see our dark sides.
My history if numbing my feelings, in some way, in any way that I could find, was what perpetuated the cycle of dis-ease in my soul.
Some of the tools I used to numb? Alcohol, food, people and material things. I was SO good at numbing. I was a master at it. Until one day, my choices became die, or change. So, I died to my old ways, and changed.
Over those early days of my healing journey, my numbing tools would come in and out of my life to varying degrees, and slowly, one day at a time, one struggle after another, I would learn how to accept my good days and my bad days with grace, acceptance and love.
Today, as I write this, I am so filled with gratitude, that the tears roll down my cheeks, allowing me to both cleanse and celebrate where I am today, and splash around in the mud with as much joy as this awesome Otter.