A little insight for you on my writing, thinking and bargaining process this morning.
Mmm coffee. Damn I love that new machine so glad I got one with a timer. How epic is it that it makes the coffee smell all the way over here, to my nose… I pull the blankets up over my head, as the wind howls. Oh my gosh. They weren’t kidding, it really is going to be freezing and -17 windchill today. I do not want to move. Heather you have to move. You have to get up, sit down at your desk and write. You have been getting repeated signs that this is what needs to happen. Yes but it’s just one day. NO it’s not one day, this is now the 4th morning in a row you have neglected this. Oh shit. Day 4? But what about just needing to take a break? The last time you took a break it became six months long. Fine.
I shuffle to the shower, wondering if showering before I start writing, or after I get into my commitment is a good idea. Turning on the lights on, waking up as the water hits my face. Starting to write the lines in my head on what will come to the page..
Oh the howling wind…. yes that’s a good start. The wind howled this morning, similar to the call of my soul. Ancestors.. no soul. Definitely soul. What about wolves. Wolves howl. How can I bring howling wolves into this chapter this morning. I continue to wash and rinse. Not remembering what I washed or rinsed.
I stand in front of my mirror that is as big as the bathroom, and I swear stares into my soul, and realize that momentum is kept up but simply taking the first step. My feet really just needed to hit the floor.
Ah, that first sip of coffee, and bite of my peanut butter on toast. I drop one of my vitamins on the floor. Damn. I wonder if eating and drinking distracts me from being able to focus on the words as well.
I know. I’ll write about writing! Oh wait, that’s the name of a page of a guy I follow on facebook, I probably shouldn’t call it that because if I do, I’ll end up with a lawsuit or something. No one has time for that. Facebook Court! I wonder if Judge Judy will be there?
Yes friends, secret audience and those who are following to see what happens next this is how it looks some days. But what I know for sure (crap, isn’t that an Oprah book?) is that the words always arrive and travel to my fingers. Whether it be electronic or handwritten, the words are not in me to be kept sacred, they are to be shared in some way, and this is one of the ways I serve.